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Hospitality is a state of heart
In a Teacup

Hospitality is a state of heart

Our education and sophistication seem to build walls and teach us to despise one another. These people were among the poorest in the world, deprived, discriminated against, so-called lower caste. Yet their hearts were full of compassion, generosity and abundance. What is the secret? It is to see another human being as a human being. Shorn of our titles and labels. Just another human being. This is what we need to learn and teach. This is the secret of putting out fires and of survival. This is our lifeline.

8 min read
discriminationgenerosity
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Half a century of memories
See with your Heart

Half a century of memories

That morning, I was sitting on the steps leading up to the front door, lost in my grief that I would never see Aunty Mohini ever again, when someone came up behind me and said, ‘Yawar, I think I know what Mohini meant to you. Will you allow me to take her place?’ I looked up to see Ronnie. I deeply appreciated that she understood my grief and so I smiled. That friendship grew and lasted for nearly 50 years.

12 min read
friendshipHyderabad
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We thank You
See with your Heart

We thank You

By a future that looks dark, promising a dawn very bright, By our values, our compassion, our courage, by Islam, By those who lift us when we fall and fight for us when we can’t, By knowing You, loving You, thanking You and worshipping only You, We know You O! Allahﷻ by Your Bounties, uncounted.

2 min read
bountiescompassion
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Rasoolullahﷺ the best role model for today
Where are the leaders

Rasoolullahﷺ the best role model for today

He conquered his enemies not by killing them but by killing enmity. That is the biggest lesson for all humanity today which is mired in misery and suffering thanks to mutual hatred. Forgive and start afresh, a society based on mutual respect and acceptance. That is the message of Prophet Muhammad (May he be blessed). A message as valid today as it was then.

6 min read
compassioncourage
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Hope Forum
See with your Heart

Hope Forum

The Hope Forum is a place that the injured from Twitter, Facebook and other social media can come, to detox and cure themselves from the negativity of the world. There’s much good happening in the world that gets no lift. Bad news sells. So we’ll give each other good news for free. And you’ll be automatically chucked out if you post anything negative. The rule for this forum will be that only productive and positive things can be shared. Nothing negative. No criticism of anyone or anything. No praising yourself. Praise others and let others praise you. No pontificating, no proselytizing. No promoting of any particular religion, ideology, politics, shop, product, service or yourself. Only appreciating what others are doing. Let others speak about your work while you do it quietly and sincerely because you believe in it and in yourself. The Hope Forum is something that seeks to change the whole culture of social networking which is simply another name for self-promotion and one-upmanship. We have nothing against any religion, ideology, politics, shop, product, service or you. Just that if you want to promote any of this go somewhere else. This is not the place for it.

7 min read
compassioncourage
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Your marriage is in your own hands
Marriage

Your marriage is in your own hands

Today we live in a world where selfishness is not a sin anymore. However, changing your mind about an evil does not make it good. You will get sick even if you fall in love with the virus. People wanting to get married must learn to think about the other and to consciously give him or her precedence. If you can’t do this, your marriage will break down sooner or later. Our lifestyles, the internet, social networking and talking to people across the world from other cultures, the TV with its unreal, fantasy world of soap operas are all designed to destroy marriages. They promote ideas that are either directly destructive or lead to the killing fields of marriage. These serials glorify disrespect for elders, extramarital affairs, destructive competition, ostentatious consumption and generally behavior that is destructive and negative for all concerned except for those who make the serials. A good marriage is about living in the real world, not in a world that is neither bold nor beautiful.

12 min read
appreciationlove
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Marriage – the living of it
Marriage

Marriage – the living of it

Marry someone you believe is worthy of emulation; someone you can look up to and learn to forgive them. The formula of an unhappy marriage is to marry someone who you believe you can change. That is a sure recipe for disaster. When you marry someone who you think needs to be changed you are accepting that they are not good enough as it is. Also, in most cases you would not have asked them if they want to change and that too to your preferred model. And then you will lo and behold that they have other ideas about changing and your marriage will be the casualty. Remember that you are a spouse. Not a therapist. Even if you are a therapist, your spouse is not your patient. No relationship can survive that.

10 min read
caringcontrol
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Marriage – the making of it
Marriage

Marriage – the making of it

Falling is never a good thing. Love as we know it (from our romantic notions) is simply another word for physical attraction. It lasts usually for 2 weeks. Since you want your marriage to last a bit longer than that, it is a good idea to focus on respect which will grow into love. Not falling into but growing into. What does that mean? It means that 25 years after you have been married every time you look at your spouse you fall in love all over again. Growing in love means evolving a common language of glances, signals, and words that only you two can understand. It is almost magical to see it work. I wish it for all those who read this. That is heaven on earth.

11 min read
childrenhappiness
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You can never relive the past
In a Teacup

You can never relive the past

Raman and I would discuss the reasons for corruption in our system. Our people, the vast majority of them are good, simple, and have sincere hearts that have learned to become helpless. Every conversation ends with the same refrain, ‘Ah! But what can we do?’ The reality is that if anything can be done, it is only we who can do it. But this remains an elusive concept. Having put that to rest, we would watch the fire and simply sit in companionable silence, waiting for dawn. Raman proves that he is made of gold by pulling out a flask with piping hot tea and he and I share the tea and wait for the night to pass. Gradually our talk runs out and we doze in spells. The fire starts to go down and every once in a while, either Raman or I put another log into it. Time passes. We see the owls that had left the previous evening, return to their perch and they have a long conversation recounting tales of the hunt. I have no idea whose story was more impressive, but both seem to have a lot to talk about. The sky is now starting to lighten. There is a strange blue light and I feel as if I am looking at the world from the bottom of the ocean. Then an orange tinge starts at the very bottom of the horizon and gradually grows upwards as if a fire has been started and is strengthening. And indeed, it has.

23 min read
Anamallaisfriends
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Never try to change your spouse
55 Life Lessons of 55 years

Never try to change your spouse

Go look in the mirror and tell yourself that the only one in the world who thinks that you are an unqualified blessing is perhaps your mother and that too, perhaps. Tell yourself that you married your spouse because you liked them, not because you found them when they lost their way to their shrink. They didn’t come to be changed. They came to be friends, to share their lives, to slog their butts off to keep you in the style to which you have become accustomed. Surely that deserves a ‘thank you’? Look at their good side. The side you married them for.

5 min read
caringchange
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Focus on contribution – not entitlement
55 Life Lessons of 55 years

Focus on contribution – not entitlement

Add value first. Entitlement will follow. Entitlement goes with the territory. Contribution defines the territory Because entitlement is directly proportional to contribution. Entitlement is the result of contribution. If you want more ‘entitlement’, contribute more. Only those who contribute greatly are entitled to great rewards. What do I mean? We live in a world of […]

3 min read
compassioncourage
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Value friendships
55 Life Lessons of 55 years

Value friendships

Friends are not forever, but for as long as you live. And that is long enough, so choose wisely But first take the trouble to decide who is a good friend. 1. A good friend is someone who tells you what you need to hear, not only what you want to hear. […]

2 min read
BertyCuthbert Suares
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