Parenting for most couples is something that they are ill prepared for. Everyone acknowledges that to bring up children to be responsible citizens is a primary task but there is no formal instruction about how to do it. Parents are given the rare privilege of scripting whether their children will be winners or losers, but they have no idea how to write this script or indeed, most don’t even realize what they are writing.
Here are 5 rules of Parenting.
5 – Rules of Parenting
- Live your message
- Manners (Akhlaaq), Dealings (Muamilaat)
- Scheduling time, Multi-tasking, Networking
- Accepting responsibility, Communication
- Drive for Excellence: Being Number One
Live your message: because children listen with their eyes. They don’t care what you say until they see what you do. If you do it, you don’t have to say it. If you don’t do it, then whatever you say will have no effect. Remember that as a parent you are a role model whether you like it or not. Your choice is to ask yourself what kind of role model you want to be and work towards that.
Manners:are the key to the heart. They are the key to influence. They are the key to power. Manners make the home, the marriage, the friendship. People see your manners before they see you. They remember your manners long after they have forgotten your name. People don’t remember what you did, they remember how you made them feel. So teach them manners before you teach them anything else. Adab (manners) is also the key to learning Islam. So focus on that. Dealings are your signature as a Muslim. It is our dealings and manners which reach out to others and introduce them to Islam. So ask yourself how you want that introduction to be. Teach them good manners and to deal with fairness and justice because that is not only the essence of Islam but it’s most powerful means of Da’awa.
Scheduling Time: Everyone has the same 24 hours but effectiveness is a factor of what you do with that time. Teach children to prioritize. To prioritize you must have a goal to work towards, so teach them to set good goals. Teach them to multi-task meaningfully so that quality of output doesn’t suffer. Teach them to network because it is relationships which open doors. Great networking is based on what we can do for people, not what people can do for us.
Accepting Responsibility: The leader is the one on whose desk the buck stops. So teach them to take responsibility because we are accountable to AllahY. The secret to great work is to do it as if your life depends on it. Because actually it does.
Drive for Excellence:There is only one way to do anything – the best way. Good enough never is. So teach them the importance and value of driving for the best possible quality for all that they do.
“Winning is not a sometime thing: It’s an all-the-time-thing. You don’t win once in a while, you don’t do things right once in a while, you do them right all the time. Winning is a habit. Unfortunately so is losing….I firmly believe that any man’s finest hour – his greatest fulfillment to all he holds dear- is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle – VICTORIOUS.” ~Vince Lombardi